so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
