When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
