How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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