Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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