playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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