i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
