Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
