Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
