If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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