The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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