dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
two words: eviction party
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
