Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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