I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
