I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
