im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
