I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
