Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
