My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
