saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
