I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
