no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
