Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
