I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
