the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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