i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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