respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
