Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
