i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
