He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
