so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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