Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I intend to get homeless drunk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
