So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
