Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
