If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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