Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
