Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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