ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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