Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
