dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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