yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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