I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
