I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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