You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
