The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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