Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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