I'm so fucking centered right now
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
