i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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