This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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