Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
