Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
