i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
