I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
