She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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