Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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